


To Please the Gods, We Must **** ;D

by MegumiCollarbonesky (megumiCollarbonesky)



Category: Free!
Genre: Aphrodisiacs, F/M, M/M, Makoto has a harem but he doesn't use it much, Orgy, Smutty, This is just silly, besides cuddling and spooning, brief mention of Makoto enjoying sexual pleasure before meeting Haru, i hope anyways lol, king!Makoto, maybe sacreligious except this is a not well thought out fake religion so, priest!Haruka
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-14
Updated: 2016-01-14
Packaged: 2018-05-13 21:52:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,251
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5718406
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/megumiCollarbonesky/pseuds/MegumiCollarbonesky
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Makoto is a king and Haru is his high priest who communes with the gods, specifically the water and air gods Samezuka-chan and Iwatobi-chan. Today, Haru must give them an atypical offering of "passion" to get some extra rain in the forecast. ;D<br/>Set in Splash Free!-verse (the season 1 ending credits land), except roles switched around a bit as described above.</p>
            </blockquote>





	To Please the Gods, We Must **** ;D

**Author's Note:**

> What is tone?! It was supposed to be crack but I'm bad at that (so I went with a traditional trashy paperback romance book style of language) and I’ve sat on this scenario in my head for way too long so here if finally is. orz

  
King Makoto sat at the edge of his seat, a gold throne biting into his thighs, and his fingers biting into the armrests. Never had the court seen such disarray and promiscuity, but then again, never before had anyone dared to drug the entire throne room and its visitors with potent aphrodisiacs.  
  
He dug his teeth into his lips, nerves racked by the hormones and pheromones raging through his body and the panic of how to set this mess aright. A groan slipped out of his distraught mouth, not that anyone would have heard over the sensual and really quite ridiculous moans echoing throughout the court chamber. Everyone was consorting with everyone, and a few everythings.  
  
For instance, several nobles who'd been in attendance were now writhing on the floor together. One or two seemed to have every orifice stuffed with items that probably should never be inserted into them. King Makoto thought he spied a flask of wine in someone's bottom, a candlestick up another's vagina, certainly that was a bare foot in someone's mouth, and if this sexual haze wasn't clouding his eyesight, a flower peeping out of a man's urethra?  
  
King Makoto turned his gaze and recognized the guard Ryuugazaki over by the main door, spear fallen to the ground, the man leaning his chest against a stone pillar and squeaking out gibberish and arousal while the harem dancer Nagisa sat beneath him, face pressed up into Ryuugazai's naked buttcheeks, presumably lapping at a quivering anus, while teasing the guard's half-erect cock with his dainty but skillful fingers.  
  
_Good for them,_ King Makoto thought absentmindedly, seeing as Nagisa waswas a childhood friend as well as a cuddle-buddy. He'd known all about Nagisa's lust towards this particular (and very trustworthy) guard and several weeks ago had given him the go-ahead to "seek him out." As far as he could tell previous to this day, Ryuugazaki had been too scared and embarrassed to follow the enticing blonde's pace but now,  
  
_Wow, look at them go,_ King Makoto gulped, eyelids heavy, hands drifting from his throne to his awakening "kingly jewels."  
  
"AAHH!" a rough voice burst out to King Makoto's right. _Rin?_ Makoto knew of no other magenta-haired merchants who would be in the room, but who was the silver-headed lad straddling him and bouncing on his cock? Rin gasped in ecstasy, trying to clutch to anything to give him some sort of grounding. The boy on top of him lithely lifted himself into the air, drawing Rin's throbbing erection out of his ass until naught but the tip was left. King Makoto was struck by its intense colour. Then the younger boy fell back onto Rin, shoving the hefty length inside of him in one go. Rin and the silver-haired beauty let out shouts of pleasure over and over, as the boy alternated the speed of his bouncing. King Makoto's own hips began to thrust a bit, as his own hole and hardening member twitched in hunger and arousal.  
  
But what to do? Jump into the fray and join a random visitor and later place the blame on them if any trouble came of it? How was a king to act in such a situation? He would ask his advisor Mikoshiba Seijuurou, but it seemed he was indisposed behind the queen's throne, gently and tenderly 69'ing a female merchant from Rin's caravan who may or may not be Rin's sister. At any rate he was surprisingly vocal. King Makoto was at a loss. His dick poked against his robes in an obvious manner, too pleasurable to deny and too painful to run to get help.  
  
Right then, his salvation sauntered up right before his eyes. He couldn't remember if this youth had been in the vicinity all along or if he'd only just shown up but it didn't really matter. The young head priest Haru looked around at the erotic chaos, face stoic except for a faint blush warming his cheeks. King Makoto called out to him.  
  
"Haru!"  
  
"My liege," Haru nodded and came closer, stopping at Makoto's feet. He took note of Makoto's visible arousal and reached towards it, tapping it gently on the tip with his pointer finger. The two young men already had a rich history of “knowing” each other, so Makoto knew he could count on Haru for relief from this…conundrum. Really, the entire court knew that if not for Haru’s role as go-between for the kingdom and the gods, he would’ve been Makoto’s queen.  
  
"Ooh," Makoto squeezed his eyes shut until he realized he heard the sound of falling clothing. "Ah?" he realized that Haru was stripping naked except for the bangles around his ankles and wrists. Haru climbed on top of his king's lap and nudged his own crotch against the (miraculously) still clothed royal erection.  
  
"I heard the commotion all the way from my quarters," Haru stared into Makoto's eyes with a face that was anything but grim, “lo and behold, the potions worked.”  
  
Makoto sighed into Haru’s touch, and hummed questioningly for an explanation.  
  
“Yesterday in my communion with the gods, they said to perform a ritual for their pleasure in exchange for rain.” Haru leaned in to murmur into Makoto’s ear.  
  
“What kind of ritual?” Makoto tilted his head to give Haru better access. Haru nibbled and licked his king’s offered ear.  
  
“Usually they say merriment and dancing, so usually we have those festivals, but this time they demanded the fluids of passion.”  
  
If he was a lesser king, Makoto would have half scoffed at his priest’s bizarre reason for why the entire throne room/court had been simultaneously drugged ( _Huuuuge security issue, Haru, hello?_ ), but no, Makoto knew to take his religious advisor seriously when it came to the gods. Many a decade had Haru’s ancestors saved the kingdom from drought and other disasters. Still…  
  
“Couldn’t we have announced to the people to set aside a day for this?” He groaned, partially due to the headache this snafu would probably cause, but mostly due to Haru now grinding their erections together.  
  
“Later. Gods wanted pure passion first, not anything forced.”  
  
“And drugging isn’t force!?”  
  
“I mean you and me.”  
  
“But we are the _last_ people not succumbed to a wanton orgy!”  
  
“I mean the first fluid to be offered to the gods will be ours. Theirs will be offered later.” He cocked his head backwards, indicating the court’s intoxicated occupants.  
  
“Huh?” Makoto was still baffled but too aroused to argue.  
  
Haru slid off his majesty’s…majesty, and took his hand, guiding his king and lover to stand.  
  
“Take me, Makoto. On the altar.”  
  
Makoto spluttered but had no objections has they hurried to the oracle’s chambers.  
  
>>>  
  
Haru threw open the doors and grabbed a bottle of ointment that was usually seen in the harem for “such occasions.” Makoto followed, fumbling to take his robes off without ripping them open. It was hard to focus with so much blood rushing to his now aching erection. Haru hopped up onto the chilly marble altar. Makoto admired his priest’s body but what came to mind was how he’d read dirty stories in ancient records about priests and priestesses having sacrificial sex with specially chosen citizens, usually youths of purity and such, but he hadn’t thought these might still occur. He wasn’t sure what his own significance was, after all he certainly wasn’t pure at this point in his life. Well to be honest he may never have been pure in that sense, having enjoyed the pleasures of the flesh since the onset of puberty with friends and the occasional older noble-boy before Haru had entered the palace and laid claim to his libido.  
  
He snapped back to the present when Haru beckoned him forwards. The finally naked king practically pounced on his priest, hands searching every bit of him to revel in that silky tan skin as much as possible. They both sighed happily into the feel of each other’s. They gently kissed for a few moments but soon Haru maneuvered Makoto into a 69 position. Makoto immediately began sucking like the good boy he always was, and Haru teased Makoto’s barely-paying-attention-to-the-laws-of-gravity dick with one hand while he tongued his back entrance. Makoto whimpered like Haru loved, the vibrations in turn encouraging Haru’s precum to flow more freely.  
  
Makoto wasn’t quite certain how votive this all was but he was not one to question Haru’s communion with the gods. Besides, Haru was basically his favourite person in the world. All his harem were fun flirt and cuddle with, but only with Haru did he feel a strong connection in their hearts, minds, emotions, as if they were two halves of a whole.  
  
Makoto slurped his mouth off of Haru’s delicious cock and rested his lips on the tip, wondering aloud,  
  
“Why’s it always so good with you? Does being the priest make it more spiritual or something?”  
  
Haru pulled his face out of Makoto’s gorgeous ass and laid back, staring at the ceiling.  
  
“Isn’t it because you love me?”  
  
“Huh?” Makoto winced, as Haru’s hand had not stopped playfully stroking up and down his taint and balls.  
  
“I love you, so I enjoy it more with you than when I’m sexually communing with the water.”  
  
“Wait what?” Makoto swung his head to try to look at Haru who now brought both his hands up to massage Makoto’s glorious booty. “I thought you just talked with the gods, what’s this all about sex with water?!”  
  
“Oh, it’s not something all priests or priestesses do, but sometimes a god asks me to cum in a sacred chalice of water for them.”  
  
“What!?!”  
  
“My parents said in the past it was rougher, that sometimes, like tentacles made out of water or a personage made out of water would want to have sex with the priest or priestess. Apparently it was a pretty easy way to keep the gods in good spirits,” Haru sighed wistfully.  
  
Makoto was struck silent and turned on, thinking of Haru getting gently and lovingly caressed by water tendrils in the font of holy water deeper in the chamber. Or roughly being boinked. He had no idea how it really worked but whatever, that sounded really hot.  
  
He daydreamed for a moment longer, about Haru thrusting his lovely dock into a golden chalice of jelly-like water and filling it up with his milky essence— until Haru slapped him on the thigh.  
  
“Makoto pay attention.”  
  
“Ow! Sorry.” He bent back down to mouth at Haru’s balls and hummed appreciation when Haru squirted what could only have been some of that harem ointment onto his fingers and wiggled one into Makoto’s puckering hole.  
  
>>>>>  
  
“Ooh, hng, ah, oh!” Makoto’s voice bounced throughout the chamber. Haru was steadily thrusting three fingers in and out of his king’s bottom. He admittedly wasn’t looking for Makoto’s special spot just yet, seeing as he knew perfectly well how Makoto enjoyed losing control enough on its own. But, the gods were getting impatient. _He_ wouldn’t be able to hold back much longer either.  
  
“Makoto,” he roughly took away his fingers.  
  
“Hahhhh!” Makoto groaned, suddenly empty and unfulfilled.  
  
“Makoto I need you on your back,” Haru scooted backwards to give Makoto space to lie down and roll over. He did so gingerly. Upon catching each other’s’ gaze, the boys smiled loving at each other. Haru leaned forward to pet Makoto’s cheek.  
  
“You’re so beautiful,” he sighed. Makoto blushed, turning his head to kiss Haru’s palm.  
  
“No you are. If the Greeks told me the first time I saw you that you were Aphrodite, I would have changed pantheons right then and there.” Makoto giggled, embarrassed.  
  
Haru leaned further and kissed Makoto deeply. Their lips yielded to each other softly, effortlessly, giving free reign for a tango of tongues.  
  
“I think they say Aphrodite was born from their god of water… or seafom?” Haru muttered, resting on top of Makoto, “Our land’s first priest was a son of the water and air gods, so maybe we’re related?”  
  
Makoto giggled, his large frame causing Haru to shake a little too.  
  
“Wait though, I was looking at some old books the other day and noticed the water god symbolized as a shark, and some other ones that made sense, but there was a pfenix too? Do you know what that was, Haru?”  
  
“Probably Iwatobi-chan.” Haru traced Makoto’s nipples with his fingers.  
  
“Wait, really? But aren’t pfenixes fire-birds?”  
  
“Well whatever the hell Iwatobi-chan is depicted as now, he’s always been an air god.” Haru nuzzled Makoto’s collarbone.  
  
“Haru! Isn’t that disrespectful?!” Makoto gasped.  
  
“Iwatobi-chan and I are on good terms.” Haru deadpanned and tweaked Makoto’s nipples.  
  
“Ooh!” Makoto yelped, not unpleasantly.  
  
Haru smirked.  
  
“Come on, we’ve got an offering to milk out of you.” He manhandled Makoto’s hips.  
  
“I still don’t see the point of drugging the entire court?” Makoto whined while complying with his religious advisor’s hands.  
  
“I dunno, I think a fertility god made Samezuka-chan throw that into the rain deal.”  
  
“Haru, shouldn’t you know the details as my priest?” Makoto tried to push himself up to ask, but Haru poked an index finger into Makoto’s bellybutton, tickling him.  
  
“I commune best with Samezuka-chan and Iwatobi-chan. Every priest is closer to a different god.” Haru said as Makoto gigglesnorted uncontrollably.  
  
“Okay! Okay! Stoppit stoppit I can’t breathe! I’m, I’m gonna go limp Haru!”  
  
“Oh, no you don’t.” Haru extracted his finger from the bellybutton and reached down to aim himself into Makoto’s bum. Makoto hummed excitement, feeling the head of Haru’s dick prod against his entrance.  
  
“You feel bigger for some reason?” Makoto keened. His slightly sweaty body glistened enticingly, all spread out on the altar. Haru ate the sight up as he pressed into Makoto, both wincing at the simultaneous pleasure and discomfort. If Makoto hadn’t screwed his eyes shut, he’d have seen Haru’s brilliant blue eyes sparkle.  
  
“Mmm, I love you Makoto.” Haru hissed after fully entering Makoto’s backdoor. Makoto, subconsciously thinking about the implications of these words, got more turned on, subsequently clenching his ass muscles down around Haru. The surprise squeeze elicited lusty moans from both young men’s throats.  
  
They looked into each other’s eyes, green-tea emeralds and Mediterranean sapphires glistening, a flood of unspoken but understood emotions and words pouring into each other. Makoto knew though, that words at a time like this were nonetheless important. More so actually, since Haru had taken the trouble to say them first.  
  
“I love you too Haru.” He choked up, and saw Haru do so as well. Makoto smiled his biggest, sweetest smile as he felt his heart swell, until  
  
“AH!” Haru drew himself out of Makoto and plowed right back in, powerfully and swiftly, right into Makoto’s prostate.  
  
“Dammit Haru, OH! OH! Ah, Ahhhhhhhwwww!” Makoto tried to reprimand Haru for switching to rough sex at such a tender moment but it felt too good. _Maybe_ he’d scold him it later.  
  
The rhythmic slap of skin against skin echoed through the chamber, and Makoto’s vocality reached higher and higher pitches until he was moaning as desperately as the horniest receiver of a good dicking had ever asked for it in all the kingdom. No matter how shameful or shameless it was though, he knew his voice had a powerful effect on Haru anyways, even when his own voice deepened and roughened when he was doing the penetrating. He could tell because Haru was thrusting at a speed he’d never reached before, which is to say,  
_SlapSlapSlapSlapSlapSlapSlapSlapSlapSlapSlapSlapSlapSlapSlapSlapSlapSlap_  
  
Makoto quickly lost his mind to the pleasure. He didn’t know if he was just leaking precum like hell or if he’d actually orgasmed. His belly was so wet. The altar was soaked with sweat and lube and semen and he just didn’t know anything anymore besides Haru and ecstasy.  
  
Then Haru grunted, freezing in place, hips driven against Makoto’s flanks like his life depended on it. Makoto felt Haru spasm inside him. Then he felt even wetter. And then everything went black.  
  
>>>  
  
Makoto woke in his bedroom to the chill and humidity of rainfall breezing through his window. He laid in bed and listened to the rain shower down upon his kingdom, his lower back too weak to sit up. The blankets he’d been tucked into were warm and cozy, so he snuggled further into them. After a few dozy moments, he felt a weight dip into the foot of his bed.  
  
“Your majesty?” a voice as cool and refreshing as the rain cooed to him. Makoto opened his eyes. There his priest sat, facing the window with a faint smile.  
  
Makoto lazily smiled and hummed a “yes?” at Haru.  
  
”Perhaps you see how successful we were?”  
  
Makoto giggle-hummed. “Last night was wonderful.”  
  
Haru blanched and looked at the ground. “Actually, um, you’ve been asleep for two whole days. And it’s rained the entire time.” He patted Makoto’s foot and peeked up at him. “I think I went overboard and drained you. I’m sorry Makoto.”  
  
Makoto was shocked, but not upset. “Wow…I guess we sure pleased the gods.” He mused.  
  
Haru smiled, a faint blush dusting his graceful cheeks. “The Iwatobi-chan and Samezuka-chan told me some good news too.” His eyes sparkled like an oasis.  
  
”Yeah?” Makoto smiled.  
  
“They were so delighted by our offering of our passion that they want us to wed.” Haru’s voice quivered with joy. Makoto’s mouth fell open in disbelief.  
  
“You mean, from now on, you can be-”  
  
“Your/My beloved of beloveds.” In unison they uttered the phrase.  
  
“What a chapter in the history books this will be,” Makoto guffawed. “To think, the gods allowing a priest and king to marry after centuries of forbidding such a union,”  
  
“Because you guys are such a power-couple, Mm-Mm!” An unfamiliar voice boomed. Makoto jumped.  
  
“Iwatobi-chan, we were having a moment,” Haru deadpanned. “Sorry,” he said to Makoto.  
  
“Jeez fine. But you owe us Haruka, Makoto. Like, we looked into the space-time continuum and realized how much love is lost in this world if you two can’t get together and all, but we want grandbabies. Lots of ‘em.” The voice blabbered. Makoto was taken aback at how, well, informal it all was.  
  
“Then you better work on giving us a womb or something to work with.” Haru shot back.  
  
“On it. Whatever. ‘Kay bye.” Iwatobi-chan’s voice left the room. Makoto stared at Haru who waved it off.  
  
“We can figure babies out later.” He dismissed.  
  
“We can have babies?!” If Makoto had been sitting up he would have fallen back down in his bed.  
  
Haru smiled apologetically at his king, his lover, his future husband, and walked over to kiss him on the cheek.  
  
“You rest up now. The court’s still recuperating so it’ll be at least another day until we can announce our engagement.”  
  
“Our marriage can’t come soon enough,” Makoto sighed. “In the meantime…?” He patted the pillow beside him and quirked an eyebrow up at Haru.  
  
“Just for a catnap.” Haru climbed over Makoto, crawled into the blankets, and snuggled up against him.  
  
>>>  
  
Several busy weeks later, the kingdom celebrated the greatest matrimony of all time. Historians later recorded the reign of King Makoto and his Beloved Haruka as the most prosperous since the beginning of history. Peace, abundant rain but no flooding, a flourishing culture, and a mysteriously large number of heirs to the throne but no fight over it; all were attributed to Makoto and Haru’s reign, aptly nicknamed “the age of love.”  
  
THE END


End file.
